"If that was my son, he would look much different.
See I'm light-skinned and that baby there's dark
so it's, momma's baby; poppa's maybe."
Mike
Mike was a hardknock thug, tough and respected.
An unnamed lady admired his toughness and the roughness he handled his motorbike with, he was one of those underground Brooklyn, New York gangstas, somewhere down the line they had a son together.
Mike took one look at the infant then fled abandoning wife and son.
After Mikes departure, the young mother named her son, Isis, she sacrificed a lot raising him on her own but as they say "only men can raise men" so it was really the streets that raised the boy.
Inside the soul of every fatherless boy is a hole in the shape of his father.
As years passed by , Isis got street influenced and walked more in his biological father's footsteps eventually becoming a thug, the mother remarried and life's frustrations turned her into a cocaine addict.
Thirty eight years later, on one grey, fateful, rainy day in a dark alley, the father and son met for the second time ever.
Normally, thugs are paranoid, consequences of your evil makes your past haunt you, a life of thuggery, mugging and robbery with violence will have you thinking everyone else is out to avenge for an evil you did.
Understandably then, both men acting out of instinct and paranoia slowly pulled out guns under their coats and at waist-level as undetectably as possible while still walking towards each other.
Mike, being more experienced, signals Isis to give way.
Isis, contemplating whether to give way or shoot, feels a certain intuitive atmosphere hanging in the air.
There was somethin in this man's face he knew he seen before
It's like, lookin in the mirror seeing hisself more mature
But you know in war, he who hesitates dies.
Mike following his instincts unhesitatingly shot Isis six times.
This is a true life story " Meet the parents " as told by Sean Carter.
Deadbeat fathers unknowingly kill their sons and sleep with their daughters.
This tragic story of neglect might seem as an extreme case, well it's only but one illustration of the state of decline in the role we play in society as men.
Never in history have we had a bigger population of single mothers, fatherless kids, gay men, drug addicts, cross dressers, paedophiles, terrorists and so much more.
It goes without saying, masculinity has never been more in question.
Girl child empowerment has catapulted over the decades and as much as i am a fan of affirmative action I must say, girl child empowerment has to quite an extent been executed at the expense of the boychild.
Feminism is on the rise, extreme women groups are reducing men to mere sperm donors.
In the 21st century, education and equal opportunities to all genders has positively ended up in the skyrocketing of female employment.
More than any other time in history, we have a bigger overall global population of women in working and in leadership positions.
More than ever before, we have many women as bread winners and family custodians... which is absolutely great progress but this has also raised a question which society is yet to provide an answer for...What should a man provide for a woman who can already protect and provide for herself and her kids?
In some way, not entirely but considerably, the male population is second guessing it's place in society.
The progress females have made is admirable, am not sure I can say the same for ourselves as the male population.
The manhood of the new millennium has been diluted by Godlessness, passive-aggresiveness, neglect of duty, addictions, enslavement to pleasure and loss of manliness.
Maleness being a gender trait, manliness then separates men from males...some men being manly and some just male.
Maleness is anatomy based, manliness is a set of character qualities.
The question then begs, who is a man really?
The question demands honesty and self scrutiny.
Am I a man because am of age?
Am I a man because I seduce these women?
Am I a better man because I can afford things my fellow man cannot?
Does his poverty make him a lesser man?
Sometimes in solitude, a man's heart questions the man..."am I man enough?"
To be honest, the answer is yes and no.
I am not the yardstick for manliness, sometimes I've been a man, sometimes less.
Sometimes I've upheld my stand and said no , sometimes I've been a yesman and though I should have said no I said yes.
Sometimes my honour and integrity prevailed, sometimes I've compromised my values and morals and abandoned my higher self.
Being male is a physical feature, being manly demands that your higher self becomes second nature.
Question further begs, what is man's higher self?
Ideally then, a manly man is one whose higher self is second nature.
Second nature implies that one's higher self is characteristic and instinctive of him.
The higher self is the consciousness of uncompromisable
values and acting always in accordance to that consciousness.
A man is:
He who expresses courage when faced with risks that necessitate action.
He who expresses restraint when being lured to apply more power than is necessary.
He who expresses self-control and limits to keep his conscience uncompromised.
He who is self-reliant in thought and action, works with others but can act alone if need be.
He who risks personal harm for the just and for those who his protection is needed from.
He who expresses compassion for the weak and doesn't exploit their struggle.
He who expresses humility in his glory and pride in his ethics.
He who expresses respect for authority yet challenges that authority if its actions misalign with his conscience.
He who expresses integrity in his doings and honesty in his dealings with others.
He who is able to balance these expressions to their needful extents.
He who is weak yet strong, vulnerable yet secure, and expresses his character so as to impact his surrounding with presence and impart his essence to fellow men, women and children.
Character is demonstrated in instances, a character not demonstrated is no character at all.
Of course, the list of character qualities is not comprehensive and no man , except Jesus, has all the qualities in full measure, but it's every man's duty to acquire these qualities and endlessly improve himself.
These qualities and more are common to all manly men, but in varying measures.
All men are male, some more manly than others.
Cheers to the manly, may the rest man up!
True manhood seeks honour before all else.
Victor Mafusa
