12th June 2019
"We can forgive a child for being afraid of the dark but the biggest tragedy in life is when adult men become afraid of light"Â
Plato.
Truthfully, am a pessimist.
I have a darkness that swallows me.
So dark, my shadow unfollows me.
My thoughts are so heavy I can't talk.
Am paralyzed, lifeless and can't walk.
I can't cry, I can't pray, am just numb.
I can't see, I can't move, I just am.
The man in the inside continues dying.
The angel in the inside continues trying.
The demon in the inside continues trying.
It's worse than pain when the soul is hollow.
It's the end, when you go to emptiness from sorrow.
I know it's not my time but fuck it, I don't wanna see tomorrow.
God, do you hear silence?
How do you hear me when all my feelings are unworded?
How do I believe otherwise when my soul tells me am unworthy?
How do I face life when my own thoughts haunt me?
I turn myself inside out for the world to understand me
But when they see the dark slippery cages am climbing out of, will they still love me?
God am giving you one more chance, because I hear Grace is your love for the unlovely.
I don't know how, why or when I ended up in the position I was in.
In the dark, all you see is meaninglessness, pointlessness and that's called nihilism.
Nihilism denies all the meaningful aspects of life and turns people into self-saboteurs.
Nihilists believe life is pointless and this is actually an ideology some people live by.
Inevitably, darkness births nihilistic tendencies and we lose meaning of the things we value and instead pursue self defeating beliefs to confirm our wrongfully assumed unworthiness.
Observers will notice patterns of self sabotage in such people and should step in to help.
Nihilism is the mother of suicide.
