The Universal Cure to mans PainÂ
3rd July 2019
Listen 'cause the story that am telling is true,
I was there with Billy Jacobs and I raped his mom too.Â
Felipe Andres Coronel
Felipe is a Puerto Rican-American gangsta, born and raised in the ghetto. He narrates real life events in a song "Dance with the devil", about his crew and Billy Jacobs.
Bill was a fatherless kid and his mom was such a cocaine addict that drug dealers used her to taste the quality of their products.
He was an ambitious hustler up to the age of thirteen when he got into drug peddling and theft.
At some point he got arrested and he snitched and ended up losing the entire hoods respect.
He desperately wanted the respect back so he became obsessed with proving to everyone that he was evil.
His mom sobered up but Bills heart only grew colder
He would smoke weed till his eyes would bleed, he dropped out of school to sell weed then moved to crack then to cocaine.
After all this, niggas still didn't think Bill was real so he gave in further to his greed.
He would start fights over no reason and started robbing people just to fulfill the validation fantasy stuck in his brain.
Niggas still treated him the same and told him any broke nigga could sell drugs and even weak ones with a gun could rob someone.
Nobody gave him any love, he wanted to join Felipes crew but they rejected him on the ground that Bill is not as hardcore as he claims to be unless he can prove it by stabbing someone to death while staring in their eyes
This being the only way to be guaranteed a spot in the crew, Bill agreed and met them at night at a quarter to three.
They drove around in the rain drinking and smoking till they saw a lady walking alone in the darkness and quietly followed her.
They wrapped a shirt around her head and dragged her to a dark lobby and beat her up to the rooftop.
Bill was the first to rape her but the other five too took a turn then gave Bill a gun and asked him to kill her because she was a witness to what she had just gone through.
He felt strong standing along with his new brothersÂ
Cocked the gat to her head, and pulled back the shirt cover
But what he saw made him start to cringe and stutter
Cause he was starring into the eyes of his own mother
She looked back at him and cried, cause he had forsaken herÂ
She cried more painfully, than when they were raping her
Bill then shot himself and fell off the building, Felipe and his crew shot Bills mum and never spoke about it.
The story may seem to be just a story but actually it's reflective of every single persons deep longing to be valued, heard, appreciated, loved and understood...it's universally applicable and truthful.
Forget luxury, comfort, money, education and achievements, there's one thing that nothing else can genuinely replace in this world, it's called a sense of belonging.
Addictions arise from the lack of it.
Depression arises from the lack of it.
Suicide and murder arise from the lack of it.
Eternally, humans hurt because they feel like they don't belong.
A lack of belonging is the biggest, deepest and most silent cause of suffering in this world
A sense of belonging is the origin of the family.
A sense of belonging is why God made Eve for Adam.
A sense of belonging is the reason why man can't be truly happy without God.
A sense of belonging is why artists create art.
A sense of belonging is why we keep pets.
A sense of belonging is why you fell in love.
A sense of belonging is why you got heartbroken twice and still gave douche bags a chance.
A sense of belonging is why you are still reading this, because you feel a connection to this words.
A sense of belonging is why we work.
A sense of belonging is that deep undying urge to connect.
The lack of a sense of belonging is why occasionally an overwhelming sadness comes over you for no apparent reason.
A sense of belonging is why man seeks his Maker, his Knower, his Creator.
Essentially, humans are social beings, we unconsciously long to belong.
The Church leaders know this and capitalize on it.
Political leaders know this and make a killing on it.
I've heard moments when people cried out to me because they could share their deepest pains with me and all my responses were perfect, for that minute they felt like the entire universe understood them and it was a love too deep and a moment too blissful to replicate, it transcended time and place, it was a shared spiritual orgasm.
One night at a family party, we were all drinking and having fun then an aunt of mine, called Joy, whom I love very much, came and took my hand and led me metres away from everyone.
She held me at the shoulders and looked me dead in the eye and told me how much she loves me and how much she wishes she could be there for me more than she does, she had tears in her eyes and I had basins in mine.
She took me into her bosom, squeezed me really tight and whispered two words I've never heard before "Victor, Cry!"
I sort of just melted, my soul cried and it was sweet, painless and divine.
She cried too, we cried for some minutes then started smiling and eventually laughed so hard that tears kept rolling.
We then exchanged " I love yous" and walked back to the party and kept drinking till sunrise.
Victor Mafusa